It was inevitable…it has happened in the past and will probably happen again. My Healthy Lifestyle 2.0 came to a crashing halt around the end of December. Binging became the norm. Daily calorie intake of up to 10000 was happening.
Eating Binging had become the norm. Same thing that had happened in the past, happened again. I even stopped biking to work every day, was more like twice a week. In addition, I was going through a period of no sleep, for over a month, I would only have 2 hours of sleep at most, yes, I was in bed, but no sleep. I was depressed! I would start crying for no reason. I wasn’t sure what was wrong with me. Perhaps the eating habits had screwed me up, who knows?
I did research, because that is what I do. Was I having mental issues? It sure seemed that way. First thing, off to the doctor for a physical. Heart rate - 58, freaking awesome (I think doc was surprised), blood pressure – perfect, weight (well, I knew the answer to that), he said “you have to lose a lot of weight”. I said “no shit!”. Blood tests, all good except triglycerides a little high, I figured it was the 10k of shitty calories/day that was causing that. So, it was definitely nothing physical causing the depression.
Next step…and this was the difficult one, I had to talk to a psychiatrist. Ugh, one of the most difficult things I have ever done. After an hour of talk, he suggests that I may be clinically depressed (I’m thinking…no shit!), what can I do? I have not made a second appointment. I feel I should, but it is so subjective and not objective. Why can’t there be a blood test? Give me a shot and boom it is gone.
In any case, today I have started Healthy Lifestyle 3.0. I hope to get back with Team Awesome and continue a good physical routine as the weather starts to get nicer. I need the support of everyone as this continues, please help me. It is not like me to ask for help, but with this, I truly need help!
To my friends, family, coworkers, I am so sorry for being the prick I was during my depression. I just could not come out of it. I feel terrible. But you are my friends; I will do anything for you and hope that you will help me as I struggle with this.